Who loves conflict in the workplace?
The answer is that the vast majority of us don’t. Most of us want to work in a safe and engaging environment that encourages creativity and opportunity, not hostility and negativity.
Many organisations measure their eNPS (Employee Net Promoter Score) to understand overall employee satisfaction. The idea is simple. You ask people how likely they would be to recommend their employer as a place to work, and the answers give you a snapshot of how people really feel. The level of conflict, whether internal or external, can have a significant impact on that score.
How conflict affects us
Conflict does not stay at the office door. Whether it is real or simply anticipated, the worry about a future confrontation can affect us both mentally and physically. Many people experience exhaustion, anxiety, a loss of confidence, a raised heart rate and difficulty focusing, along with a range of other symptoms.
It also does not have to be dramatic. Conflict is not always two people shouting at each other. A passive aggressive silence, a one word reply to a detailed email, or a demand where a request would have done the job can all be experienced as conflict, depending on the environment. In a workplace where trust is low or pressure is high, even these small signals can feel like a threat. People then spend their energy wondering what a message really meant or what might come next, and that is energy no longer going into their work.
Why conflict shows up in the numbers
Conflict rarely stays contained. A tense relationship between two colleagues soon affects the people around them. Meetings become guarded, ideas go unshared and people start to protect themselves rather than contribute. Over time, that quiet withdrawal shows up in engagement, absence, retention and, eventually, in the eNPS.
External conflict matters too. Difficult relationships with clients, suppliers or partners place pressure on the people who manage them every day. If staff feel unsupported when those situations arise, their loyalty to the organisation can suffer.
Not all conflict is the problem
It is worth saying that disagreement itself is not the enemy. Healthy challenge can sharpen decisions and spark better ideas. The damage comes when disagreement turns personal, goes unresolved or is ignored in the hope that it will disappear.
This is where leadership makes the difference. Teams with a high eNPS tend to share a few habits:
Concerns are raised early, before they harden into grievances.
Managers are trained to have difficult conversations with confidence and fairness.
People trust that speaking up will be met with respect, not retaliation.
Issues are resolved properly rather than being left to fester.
What organisations can do
Start by listening. Your eNPS comments, exit interviews and day to day conversations will tell you where tension is building. Then act on what you hear, and be seen to act. Nothing damages trust faster than asking for feedback and doing nothing with it.
Accountability matters here too. Leaders need to own the way conflict is handled in their teams, and people need to see that behaviour which damages working relationships is addressed fairly and consistently.
Invest in your managers, too. Most conflict is not caused by bad people, but by poor communication, unclear expectations and pressure that nobody has addressed. Giving leaders the skills to spot and resolve issues early, and holding them accountable for doing so, protects both your people and your results.
How I can help
This is the thinking behind my bespoke Composure in Conflict workshop. It is a practical session that helps business leaders recognise how conflict affects their thinking, communication and behaviour, and gives them the tools to respond more effectively under pressure while taking accountability for how they show up.
The workshop combines an understanding of the nervous system with practical techniques for managing the physical and mental symptoms of conflict. It also delivers communication models that reduce unnecessary escalation and increase accountability, so that important working relationships are protected rather than damaged.
The bottom line
Nobody comes to work hoping for conflict. When organisations take it seriously, handle it well and create a culture where people feel safe to speak, the benefits go far beyond a better score. You get a more creative, more committed and more resilient workforce.
So the next time you review your eNPS, ask yourself what it is really telling you about the way conflict is handled in your business.
Amy Wray - October 2026
